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2004-01-17 · 5:20 p.m.

Yesterday was no school, because it was so cold out that the sprinkler system froze and set off the fire alarms every couple of hours. (On Thursday we got an announcement over the P.A. to "disregard" any fire alarms. How are you supposed to disregard a fire alarm? Aren't they specifically designed to make that impossible?) I sat on the couch and watched 12 hours of "Monk" on USA. And then I found out that next week's episode is special-guest-starring none other than John Turturro himself! Maybe I'm a weird person, but there is practically nothing I can think of at the moment that would be hotter than John Turturro starring as a neurotic obsessive-compulsive genius shut-in.

I went to the store today and bought a giant canister of Aqua Net. I feel like this was my passage into punk-rock adulthood. Now I'll have twenty four hours to mate and lay my eggs before the life cycle ends.

I wish I had a pair of muk-luks.

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