« Beret arret! »
2004-04-06 · 8:56 a.m.

You know when you're mad at someone but they refuse to fight and get all the aggression over with? I hate that. That is exactly my mother's tactic when it comes to her screwing up my life. First she realizes she totally fucked something up (again). Then she avoids speaking/eye contact for the next 8-12 hours. Next is the "why are you being so nasty to me today???" speech, followed with how I'm a horrible person, treat her like a "house slave," never thank her for spending all her hard-earned money on my edumafacation, etc etc blah. Then when I respond (usually by reminding her that whatever she's being so aggressively passive about is her fault and hello, "house slave", what the fuck? Please kiss my fat mulatto ass) she storms away and slams a door in my face because she's terrified of confrontation and resolution.

I'm sorry to sound like such a George-Kostanza-and-his-hilariously-disfunctional-family episode of "Seinfeld." What happened this time (perhaps you might remember that magical encounter last year when my mother accused me of Nihlism because I didn't want to help her pick out carpet samples--but that's a different story) is that my mother "forgot" to send the application fee to McGill University, a k a the school I most wanted to go to (after the other one I more most wanted to go to, but they rejected my ass), thus stopping them from ever processing any part of my application. I'm not exactly tripping gaily thru the rose gardens of my mind at this particular moment. I wish I had the power to transform into Rose from "Rose is Rose"'s biker-chick alter ego, storm into Quebec, and insist they accept me into their puny little four-year accredited institution or else. Or maybe just slap my mother upside her head. I'm such a voodoo child.

Okay, so what else is on the radar for today? Hmm, what could better accompany not getting into a good college due to a family member's total fuckupness than neo-Nazis? This group of girls in my German class thinks it's funny to whip out their honky little Nazi salutes every day. Nazis and crackers do not exactly go over well with me at any time of the day, but at 8 o'clock in the morning I am probably at my least tolerant. I'm thinking of going total French Resistance on their WASPy little heads. Vive!

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