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2004-01-13 · 9:17 p.m.

Now that the holidays have come and gone (but mostly gone), I am ready for the Paradise-Island Resort Edition Spring Season. But the weather underground is definitely keeping tabs on my movements because walking around outside = snow up to my ankles. I'm in the process of rummaging around through heaps of knitted grey things and finding not one pair of hot-pink platform sandals, in the middle of a giant ice storm and blizzard conditions. Say vrai, c'est la vie faux.

Also I made a tactical error and cut my own hair. I need a protective cape of long flowing locks at this time of year but instead I have a self-imposed sort of crew cut. The boys at my school have such long, beautiful girl hair and I have a tiny pixie cut. I feel so butch. Maybe I should just beat everybody up and then run away.

* tiered rainbow mini skirts

* stolen Army jackets

* clove cigarettes (although when have those ever been off my top10 list?)

* red lips

* phantom bridegrooms

* disco beatz and teen-boy treatz

How come nobody ever told me about how seriously hot John Turturro's ass is? I had to find this out for myself the other day when I rented both "The Big Lebowski" and "O Brother Where Art Thou?". John Turturro's ass is a precious gift that must be treasured and esteemed by all who behold it. Seriously. I'd like to buy some stock in John Turturro's ass because that back is just getting hotter.

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